Worship as Fainting (On Psalm 13)

I’m starting to think
That I could forever sink
Could this saint
forever faint?
Have you forgotten me?
Have you heard my plea?
I say in tears “Awake!”
Please, for my sake.
I miss your face.
Can I sustain this pace?
I speak to my soul--
Silence untold.
What words can I borrow
To express my sorrow?
While my soul naps,
My enemy only laughs.
Has he won the day?
Does he have the last say?
Will my God speak up?
Will he fill my cup?
Or shall my foe
Continue to throw
Lies like arrows:
“God cares not for the sparrows”
Your defeat is sure
You’ll never be pure.”
But hope is not dead.
You shall lift up my head.
In your love I trust
And like a sword thrust
Is your Word to my soul.
In you I’m made whole.
I will sing with my voice;
My heart shall rejoice.
I reject the fallacious;
With me you are gracious.
I long for the day
When my heart will say
“Your grace has abounded
Your truth has sounded.”

I wrote this for my Biblical Theology of Worship class. We were supposed to write something for a church service.

Perhaps the most tragic thing about our church services is the assumption that everyone is the pews are emotionally stable. The truth is that in any given church, there are hurting people who feel alone and overwhelmed by a hundred different concerns. I believe that poems like the one above could serve to draw people into the presence of God by pointing them to the Word. The Psalms of lament are inspired scripture. God understands the human condition, namely its frailty and finitude. May we long to make our churches a haven for those who are hurting.

The last two and half years have been difficult for me and this poem flows directly out of a dry heart that longs for the Living Water to refresh it.

Worship as Fainting comes from John Piper. He says there are two types of worshipers: 1) those who are feasting on God's presence and are responding to Him in worship and 2) those who are fainting for God's presence and honor him through turning to him as the only hope, trusting in him for future deliverance from the spiritual desert.